Life can change in a heartbeat, for good and for worse
by AnnaMaria98
Summary: Alexandra meets Phil, a youtuber with whos beautiful along with his beautiful heart. After Alex's life goes down hill, will Phil make sure she will always be happy?
1. A new meeting

*BEEP BEEP*

My alarm clock goes off and the sound rings through my ears, still extremely tired I lazily turn over to view the alarm clock on my night stand I rub my eyes so I can see the numbers clearly '9:00am', already? It only feels like I've been sleeping for an hour or two, maybe its best not to stay up all night scrolling through my tumblr dashboard... Anyways I get up and shuffle to my bathroom where I have a hot shower, blow dry my hair, straighten it, do my daily make up routine and put on a white knitted jumped, blue jeans and my brown boots. I step into my kitchen and make myself breakfast containing of toast with strawberry jam while thinking through the jobs I need to do today, it's the 27th of December today and after spending Christmas with my parents on the other side of England and coming back yesterday, I need to change a top I got as my mum got me the wrong size, and as she got it in London it one of those one off shops in the high street.

As I sit at my black marble breakfast counter my eyes slip towards the empty chair directly in front of me, oh how i wish I had someone to love, someone to spend my New Years with, there's been a lot of snow and it hasn't stopped so I won't be able to get to my parents by the time its New Years due to the weather, so I'm alone, I mean whats the chance of me meeting someone in the next 4/5 days, a new years eve kiss, just as the new year starts would be a one in a lifetime feeling, but that won't be happening this year for sure.

After I finish my toast I have a quick gulp of some orange juice, chuck on a black coat and winter beanie with a bobble, grab my bag, check all the appliances are off and do all the important duties and head out the door locking it behind me.

When I step out of the block of apartments the seriousness of the weather finally hits me, the snow isn't coming fast from the sky hitting me in the face with its bitter coldness but there is loads of small snowflakes, but many of them floating from the sky, but thats not what concerns me, as I take my first step into the snow covered floor there's a soft crunch and i look at my feet and thats when I can see how much snow there is, a lot. I take a breath and carry on.

Well that was an eventful trip, firstly a pigeon pooed on my shoulder and now there's a stain, I slipped over in a crown and people clearly dont have any patience to just stop and wait for me to get up, oh no, they pretty much trampled over me, and lastly to top it all off, I went to the shop and they refused to change it, even though I have a receipt. This has all happened in about 2 hours. I decided to go and have a relaxing drink at Starbucks, I arrive at the dark green doors and I step inside. After about 1o minutes of waiting in cue I finally lay my cold and numb hands on mu-cup, I thought I had ordered one to have in, oh well, i turn around to find myself a seat and thats when I realised giving me a cup wasn't an accident, it was packed, and my packed I mean packed, there's not ONE space, I sigh and think to myself, can this day get anymore worse? I angrily step outside and start my travel back home, I look down because the snow has picked up and it's furiously coming down in my direction. I swear I hate the wea-

Suddenly a huge surge of heat comes over me, I look at my jumper and there's a huge wet patch on it, which is a muddy brown colour with steam coming off I had bumped into something, someone and dropped my drink on myself, I look up and in front of me there's a tall boy with straight black hair with glimmering blue eyes, I recognise him from somewhere...

"Oh my god, I'm so, so, sorry!" he exclaimed to me, I was so focused on his beauty I barely noticed the scorching pain from the drink spilt on me. Before I have the chance to answer, he has his arm around me, normally I would just take his arm off and walk the opposite direction, but there's something about him, I feel secure in his arms, even though I dont even know his name, before I know it, we are in star bucks once again, I look up and he's coming towards me with napkins.

"I'm sorry,I should have been looking where I'm going, I'm Alexandra, call me Alex" I thought I should introduce myself, I dont wanna seem as if I'm arrogant and annoyed with him, I should have been watching where I was going

.

"No, seriously it's my fault, He starts dabbing my jumper, I didn't wanna seem like I can't take care of myself so I snatched the napkins off him, he childishly stuck his tongue out a me, I giggled and he cutely winked, I could feel myself blush, oh god I'm pretty sure I look like I've been dragged through a bush...twice.

"By the way, Im Phil, let me buy you another drink..." he suggests, before i have a chance to answer.

"NO BUTS" and he winks again and I suddenly remember where I recognise him from, he's AmazingPhil ! I had watched some of his videos as well, and Danisnotonfires, wow, suddenly I feel weak as now I know its him, I dont want to embarrass myself, even though I couldn't look worse than I already do, with static hair, a brown patch on my white jumper, a bird poo stain on my coat and a flushed hair, great.

Once I come back from my deep thoughts, i seen Phil waving me over, i go over and sit opposite him.

"Thank you, seriously you didn't have to-"

"It's no problem seriously!" he has a sweet grin and i sip on my drink, the tea has never tasted sweeter.

Phil comes forward with his head in his hands

"So tell me more about yourself, Alexandra" Phil asks me curiously.

I tell him about my family and how I moved here because I have always wanted to move to London, and now I just want to get a job somewhere. There were many laughs, and no awkward silences, things are going well...

***AUTHORS NOTE* Thanks for reading, hopefully the next part with be out next week, i really appreciate reviews, bad and good,!:D Hope you like it !3 **


	2. Trio of popcorn and English accents

CHAPTER 2

It starts getting dark by the time me and Phil decide to leave Starbucks, well we didn't decide to leave, it was closing and we were being kicked out. There's something about Phil, I feel like I've known him for years and I haven't been with someone in ages where I just feel like I can be myself around him all the time. We talked, laughed and drunk a lot of tea in the time we spent in Starbucks about Muse, Adventure time, Lions, we seem to have all the same things in common, maybe this meeting is fate...

"I should get going now, which way do you walk?" I ask, not wanting our meeting to ever end.

"Urm this way, it's about a half an hour walk straight" Phil answers and luckily that's the exact way i needed to go.

"I need to go that way too, and mines takes about the same time to!"

"Perfect" Phil says while offering his arm to me, I accept and we start our journeys home in the heavy snow.

We arrive at my apartment block and i detach my arm from his and face opposite him, i seriously dont want to leave, I wanna see him again, but he probably doesn't feel the same way about it as I do.

"This is where I live, I had a great time and-"

"No way! This is where I live, this is so strange, how come I haven't seen you before ? What floor do you live on?!" This shocks me, now it has to be fate, why haven't I seen him before?

"I live on the 3rd floor apartment 15! What about you?!"

"I live on floor 15 in apartment 50 with my flatmate Dan!" I assume hes talking about Dan Howell mostly known as Danisnotonfire! I'm so shocked, I can't believe this, the sweetest and cutest guy I've met happens to have been under my nose the whole time, am I dreaming? This has been a perfect afternoon/evening.

I have a huge grin on my face.

"Well i guess none of us will be walking alone tonight" Phil says in an innocent quiet voice, we re-link arms and head into the block on apartments.

"Hey, since its only 5:00pm do you wanna come and watch a film in my apartment? Popcorn and drinks included!" Phil suggest as the lift doors slowly close, it's not late so why not?

"Yeah sure sounds good!" I answer back, we both grin and he presses the silver '15' on the gold button along many others. We reach the white door and Phil grabs some keys from his jeans pocket and turned the key in the lock and the door rushed open.

"Hey Phil you should have seen what just happened there was this monkey on TV and it was-"Dan says and he pauses mid sentence, while looking at me, I seriously hope im not interrupting anything, I dont want to be a nuisance.

"Who's this?"

"This is Alexandra, Alex for short, we bumped into each other and while i was helping Alex out we had a few drinks and talked a lot, then found out we live in the same apartment block! Isn't that weird?!" Phil explains.

"Yeah that is, nice to meet you Alex" Dan says with his hand held out to me with a sweet grin across his face. I hold my hand out and shake his hand.

"Nice to meet you to, Dan isn't it? I've watched some of your videos! By the way I dont always look like this, I kinda look like a hobo, life wasn't being kind to me this morning!" I explain how before Phil came along, I wasn't having the best of days.

"Well it seems like things got better" Dan says winking at me, I blush a little and Phil playfully pushes Dan and he laughs.

"Im going to bed, dont stay up to late, I expect quiet by 11!" Dan says jokingly.

"You're absolutely hilarious Dan, seriously." Phil says sarcastically, Dan walks into his room and shuts the door behind him.

"So what do you wanna watch? You pick while i get popcorn and drinks, sweet, butter or salted? What drink would you like?" Phil asks while heading into the kitchen.

"Urm, surprise me! And would water be ok?" I look into their box of DVDs, you could make a shop with the amount him and Dan have.

"Sure! Coming right up!"

I pick out Finding Nemo and i place it in the DVD player. Phil sits on the sofa with drinks and popcorn and pats the space next to him. I smile and sit on the sofa, shuffling up to him slightly, but not to noticeable.

"So what film will we be watching madam? I have a trio of popcorn, ice cold water for you and a less so healthy option, coca cola for me." Phil says in a really bad stereotypical English accent, it makes me laugh though.

"Thank you sir, we shall be watching Disney's finest finding Nemo, I hope that suits your liking. And a trio of popcorn, I dont believe I've ever had such a development!" I say trying to do the same accent back; i think mine is worse than his.

"Well that's just, me, im full of surprises" Phil says with the cutest smile I've ever seen, with his blue eyes gleaming in the dim lights. I couldn't help but have the biggest smile across my face; he was perfect in every way.

I lay my head on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around me, I was so comfortable in his arms...


	3. Back to reality

CHAPTER 3

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOUR SUCH AN IDIOT YOSHI FOR GOD SAKE MOVE FASTER" those are the first words I heard as I groggily wake up, I open my eyes and sit up in panic at the unfamiliar layout around me, before the memories come flooding back... Starbucks...Phil...Nemo...PHIL I look around looking for the familiar face I saw yesterday, the boy with the beautiful eyes and smile that makes my heart melt every time.

I turn to my left and there he is, with his eyes focused in concentration trying to get ahead of the others in... Mario kart? After he loses he slams his remote controller on the sofa, sighs and turns to me.

"Oh, good morning, I'm hoping you slept well?" Phil says

"Slept?" I say as I look down to see a white duvet and a pillow to match.

"Yeah, you fell asleep during the film, and as you looked so peaceful I didn't wanna wake you, you only live a few floors down so i didn't figure it would be much trouble, sorry if you feel uncomfortable, I just wanted to help-" Phil says with a slight sign on anxiousness in his innocent voice.

"No! Its fine, I appreciate your thought, to be honest I probably would have slaughtered you if you woke me up... yeaah I'm not good when that happens" I say trying to show the humour in my voice, I dont wanna scare him.

"I'm glad, I mean we only met yesterday, but I hope you know I'm not some creepy guy off the streets, would you like some breakfast, eggs, bacon, toast...porridge?" Phil says getting up and heading up to the fridge, opening the shiny surfaced doors and bending down to scan it.

"What ever your having Phillip"

"Then bacon, eggs and toast it is" Phil says triumphantly. He closes the door and heads to the cupboards opening the doors.

"By the way, you look adorable when you sleep" I catch Phil saying slightly quietly. I look down at the duvet and feel myself blush, he has a way with words, especially when I know i sound like a pig when I sleep and probably dont look much better to be honest...

After we eat breakfast consisting salty bacon, flavoursome eggs, buttery toast and bitter but sweet orange juice, I realise that I have to go back to reality, although I really want to stay there, with Phil, for eternity, although I think I have feelings for him if nothing happens, he is still like a best friend I've known from high school.

"I think I should get going now, I have loads of chores to do, washing, ironing, sorting out, you know stuff i dont want to but need to, thanks for the company and for generally everything, it's like I've known you for ages, I've had so much fun, now it's back to go to reality" I say with a slight chuckle while getting up from the breakfast counter ending the conversation about whats better Crash Bandicoot or Spyro.

"Yeah of course, but...can I at least have your number?" Phil says with an innocent half smile, I reach into my pocket to get my iPhone and search on the contacts to get my number, while Phil gets a small scrap bit of paper and biro leaning onto the counter.

"079847236" I say while Phil scribbles it down, he thanks me then walks me to the door turning the handle and holding it open for me.

"Thanks again, seriously" you say smiling, I dont want to seem as if I'm not being grateful.

"It's fine honestly...So I'll see you again?" Phil asks.

"You know where I am" I say trying to be witty and cheeky but probably sounding arrogant. Good job Alex. Phil chuckles I walk past him towards the elevator, I turn back to see him doing a little wave, I wave back smiling and get into the elevator and press the '3' button and the lift starts smoothly going down. I think about all the wonderful memories form the past day, minus the bird poo, being trampled on and spilling a hot drink all over me. Although that last memory is the best out of all of them, because I met Phil, he probably wouldn't ever talk with someone like me, considering all his fans when he was telling me about what he does which interested me a lot, but I couldn't help myself falling for him fast.

As I reach floor 3 the door slides open, I walk through to the end of the hallway where my apartment is just a quick turn to the left, as I reach the end an turn as normal, I get my keys out and am about to but the key in the lock, I notice something, there is loads of scratches around the key hole and it looks really different and the metal template surrounding the entrance is loose, I look on the floor and there is a small silver screw that looks big enough to be used for it. My heart starts to beat faster, it's probably nothing, it probably just fell or something, I put the key in and turn it and the door opens easily, a little too easy.

The door swings open and there ahead of me is a big problem that hits me like a ton of bricks. Everything is in pieces, there is shatters of glass everywhere, from pieces the size of buttons to the size of my hands, and there is a huge lump of material on the floor, that appears to be my sofa, I cautiously walk in minding my step although still hearing the crushing of glass underneath my feet. I go into the living room and thats where the full impact of what had happened hit me, everything is broken, nothing has been left untouched, there's something wrong with it, from scratches to it being literally obliterated. I checked the spare bedroom, kitchen, bathroom and my bedroom and its all the same, it's all destroyed. I look into the long mirror on my bedroom wall with long scratches down it and i see myself, with red eyes filled up with tears, my blonde curls looking a wreck and everything looks awful.

I had saved so hard for this apartment and everything it contained, i went through load of jobs, good and bad to get here, and now it's all gone. I dont know how much it's all going ot cost, my mum and dad paid for a lot of the main furniture and times are tough, i dont know how long it's going to take to pay for it all again. How could they/he/she get in here so quietly, destroy it so quietly without someone passing through hearing it, or seeing some people or someone and think to call someone, did it happen at night, I just dont know.

Like a reflex I turn and run out of my apartment not bothering to lock the door, there's nothing to take. The elevator was taking so I run up the stairs 15 floors, i dont care how out of breath I am, I needed Phil's help and his comfort.

Out of breath and tearful I shakily knock on the door. Phil opens it and his smile drops immediately.

"Oh my God, whats happened?"

* * *

***AUTHORS NOTE* Ohhh so who done it?! I really hope you like it, its not brilliant sorry. Sorry for any spelling problems or anything like that. Reviews appreciated! No hate please, just constructive critisism! :D !**


	4. There's light at the end of the tunnel

Before I have a chance to reply, Phil embraces me into a tight hug and I'm sobbing into his chest. I go totally out of reality and think to myself why do this happen to me? What have I ever done in the past to deserve this? Phil suddenly wakes me back to real life.

"Alex? Please speak to me, whatever it is, I won't leave you, please, I really hope you have faith in me" I look up into Phil's face and his face is frowning and he looks genuinely concerned for me. I grab his cold hand and without saying a word I drag him down the stairs, not waiting for the elevator, he runs alongside me. As we reach my apartment I stop in my tracks but Phil goes zooming into it, his face is in complete shock.

"What has-"

"I dont know, everything's destroyed, room to room, when I got here the lock was really weird, but I thought nothing of it, then it all hit me when the door went wide open!" I say loudly rushing in to join Phil, finally accepting the fact it has all happened.

"What about your clothes and unbreakable things? We need to call the police!" Phil grabs his phone but i grab it before he can start dialling in numbers.

"No! Dont! Let's just talk about it first, try and make sense of things" I say, I dont want all the fuss of the police, the people who own this flat won't be happy, I'll have to get interviewed and everyone I know, maybe I can figure it out myself who done it.

"Are you mad? What are we supposed to do, have you got any clothes?"

I go into the bathroom and bedroom and everything's gone, not only is all my furniture and breakable belongings are broken, but a lot of it is stolen to.

"It's gone, where am i going to stay?!" Before I know I it, I feel faint, dizzy and the whole room is spinning, I start hyperventilating and cry more than ever, I dont know what to do. My sight starts fading, then black.

*2 HOURS LATER*

I start to open my eyes although the vision is slightly smudgy I can tell I'm in Phil and Dan's apartment on the familiar sofa I found myself in when I slept over that night. I sit up sighing not remembering what happened exactly, although I never forget what has happened I'm my apartment, the shatters of glass and empty draws that were once filled. Before I can do anything Phil rushes by my side with a concerned look on his face.

"Alex! Are you ok? You fainted, how do you feel? Do you want some water?"

"Um" I haven't quite come to my senses yet, I dont feel brilliant, it's like I've awoken form an uncomfortable sleep.

"I'm fine just bit...um I dont know, yes please" I stand up slowly being wary and holding my arms out to balance myself, I pull down my jumper and take a deep breath, I turn around and Phil is there with a glass of water, he reaches his arm with the water out to me, gesturing to take it, i do and take sips of it, why did I faint I wonder? I have never had a past of it, infact, I dont think I ever have; weird. Phil grabs my arm tightly and leads me to his bedroom.

"Dan needs this room to film a new video, so we need to go in here, it will be quieter anyway" I agree and he leads me in, shuts the door and sits on the bed tapping the space next to him on the edge of his double bed, I sit there, feeling slightly better after having half a glass of water.

"We need to do something Alex, and I wont be able to rest until we have sorted out something, we should call the police" Phil said calmly with his arm extended around my waist.

"Even if we did, they won't be able to fix the situation immediately, and they will be nosy trying to find me somewhere to stay which will probably be somewhere horrible and out of my way. And if not that, then where will I stay; I have no money, clothes, food. I can't ring my parents for money, it will only cause stress for them and they haven't got the money for it and I can't go back there, it's a way away and it will be hard to keep on track with whats happening with the police."

"Hold on" Phil says without a proper answer to my statement and rushes out of the room pulling up his trousers and pulling his jumper down. With a million thoughts running through my head, it's hard to find one of them to focus on.

About 5 minutes later he comes in, an adorable half smile fixed on his face.

"You can stay here! Dan said its ok, we have space, and food, and for clothes I can ask our friend Carrie for some clothes, you look about the same size as her! You dont have to pay for anything, so dont bother suggesting. You can stay here as long as you like, your no problem, you make staying here more enjoyable" this is a shock, of course I want to stay here with Phil and Dan, their like the best friends I never had, my mind rushes to when he said 'you make staying here more enjoyable'...did he mean that it a friendly way or a flirty way?...Probably not in a flirty way, I mean I have feelings for him I know that for sure now, but I'm pretty sure he wants to stay friends. Thinking of all the memories I will have here with them puts a huge grin on my face and I stand up enthusiastically and wrap my arms around them and I snuggle my head in his shoulder, he wraps his arms around me back and squeezes me invitingly.

"Oh my God really? I dont want to be a problem, as soon as I get some money back, I'll give you money for food and everything! Seriously I can't thank you enough!" Phil giggles and a whole group of worries in my head disappear now I have that sorted out, I choose to embrace this moment while I can and stay happy until I have to face the negative side of the whole situation. I run into the living and see Dan talking to his exciting camera, hes recording but i choose any way to run over and hug him , hes shocked but doesn't care as he hugs me back.

"Sorry to be the one to ruin the fun, but before we can do all this, we need to call the police and your parents, ok? Tell your parents not to worry and that you have a place to stay and all that, use our home phone if you like" at first I'm disappointed by Phil ruining the moment, but then I realise he's right, I'm going to have to do it one way or another, I might as well get all the bad parts out the way, tell the current situation to my parents and then let the police sort out everything.

"ok, you're right" I give a brief smile and walk over to his phone and type in the magic numbers '999', there's a repetitive sound and then a cheerful sounded lady speaks.

"999 emergency services how can I help you?"

***AUTHORS NOTE* I hope you like it! It was kinda a filler chapter. I hope you keep on reading! Because i didnt realise between the day the story started which was boxing day and new years eve is 5 days, and all the thing i want to happen cant happen in that amount of time, so this story will be the first to a sequel! :D Reviews appreciated, but no hate, only constructive critisism! :) **

**P.S the only review on there is from my friend Leah who thought it was funny to post that, i was there when she done it ¬¬, hopefully shes deleted it:) ok bye ! :D **


	5. AUTHORS NOTE

Hey! Happy New Year! But since New Years isnt really being celebrated anymore, i figured that the title and description wouldnt really have the same effect, so thats why ive changed it! :) Because at the start of the story Alex meets Phil on Boxing Day when she was in town to change a shirt her mum had go her, now imagine it was the day after her birthday, so then the storyline still makes sense. So if you see anything that might not make sense in the future chapters, remember this ! :D The next chapter will hopefully be out next week ! Thanks for reading ! :D


	6. An eventful but good day

"Hello um yes, um..." I struggle to get any words out due to my nervousness, Phil then grips around the phone and nods to me, gesturing that he will do the talking since I'm just incapable at the moment.

"Hello sorry for that, um yes we would like to report a robbery, yes of course..." Phil walks away and his voice gets fainter as he starts giving the address for my apartment. Butterflies are swarming through my stomach and I think the worry shows on my face as Dan sympathetically walks over and hugs me with a warm and friendly hug.

"Phil will probably have to give you the phone for you to answer questions because it was your apartment, but if you get scared or nervous, just breath, they will be patient with you, just try and collect your thoughts into a jar in your mind" Dan says with his hands gripped tight on my shoulders, his advice is bold in my mind and the thoughts are now in a imaginary glass jar.

"Thanks for the advice, really" I say with a hopefully kind smile and he loosens his hands off my shoulders and his arms fall back to his side.

I turn and sump into the black sofa and try to figure out what to do next. I notice im starting to feel hot so i look at the brown hair band fitted on my wrist and take it off and pull my blonde messy curls into a rough pony tail, this immediately releases a lot of heat cased at the back of my neck by my hair. Next thing, I decide to face the part I've dreaded the most, calling my parents. I take a deep sigh and take my phone out of my pocket and slide the unlock button. I start walking to the bathroom and I search through the contacts and find 'Home', they will definitely be home I remember as I try to find an excuse not to call them at this specific time, but I can't find any. I sit on the toilet seat and press 'call'.

*2 HOURS LATER*

The call to my mum and dad was a struggle, tears were shed and angry voices boomed down the phone. After explaining all that had happened, even about Phil after me, it gave them relief when I told them about the new arrangements Phil and Dan had proposed to me. They kept throwing questions at me after a minute of calling them, 'Why didn't you lock the door?!' and 'Who do you think we are, millionaires? We can't get the money for all the stuff back!" and that was just after giving the brief storyline.

In the end they were calm and we agreed that I would stay with Phil and try and find a job as soon as possible so I can pay Dan and Phil rent and for food, even though they said not to bother, it wouldn't be fair, letting me stay is enough, im not letting them let me eat their food and use their water for free as well.

After the phone call I had to talk to a police officer on the phone and they are coming over for a proper interview in an hour, luckily I didn't have to speak to much as Phil had already given most of the information.

After all the major priorities are done, I relax my tense shoulders as Phil brings me a cup of steaming tea with a bright smile and we sit on the sofa, legs and arms touching.

"See everything's going to be fine, after the police arrive, you...we will give as much information as we can and we let them do their thing and find the asshole that did it, everything can go back to normal." Phil says convincingly nudging my shoulder with his. I smile back blushing a little bit just by seeing his beautiful grin.

"Yeah, i hope." I look at him smiling back hoping what he said is true, we hold a uninterrupted stare for what seems like forever until a hard knock makes us jump, for some unexpected reason the police has turned up early.

"Remember Alex, breath" Phil says to me as he shuffles to the door.

"AND COLLECT THE THOUGHTS IN A JAR" I hear Dan shout from behind his closed bedroom door, it makes me giggle and i push myself out of the sofa and pull my jumper down that has risen a little bit.

"Hello madam" a tall muscular police officer in his uniform says with his hand out as he walks into the living room with his co-worker and Phil trailing in behind him.

"Hi" I say nervously shaking his hand with a kind smile.

"Would you like to sit down?" Phil says innocently gesturing towards the breakfast bar with two seats either side. The police officer and his co-worker sit on side and I and Phil sit the opposite side.

"So, we must get right to it, we have a lot of cases to get to today, so im just going to ask you a series of questions while my co-worker writes the down, please me as honest and give as much details as possible, it makes out job of finding the criminal easier. Oh and im John and my co-worker here is David."

"Im Phil and this is Alex" Phil says for us and we both smile.

"Ok so when did you first know about this incident, if you could give us a specific time frame". I suddenly feel anxious with the 2 pair of eyes staring at me and Phil turned to me, all my thoughts have flew out of the jar, but suddenly Phil tightly but re-assumingly grabs my wrist, and my words, he right words begin to flow out.

*HALF AN HOUR LATER*

"Ok thank you guys, we appreciate both of your co-operation, we just have one more question before we can start the investigation fully, do you know anyone that might be worth questioning, you know, someone who might have it in for you, dont worry we won't mention you saying anything about them" With Phil's hand now gripped in mine, I think about this question thoroughly, the other questions were easy to answer, but this one could be the difference between justice or not.

I haven't lived in London that long, and while I've been here, i haven't had much time to socialize...well apart from on Tumblr but no one knows anything about where I live, apart from that I live in England, I haven't talked to anyone much, and anyone i have it was a brief friendly conversation. Now i think about it, Phil and Dan are about my only friends here, I have a view close friends where I used to live, but they dont keep in contact much anymore, and even if they did want to wreck my apartment, between the time period that i left the apartment alone, they wouldn't have got there.

"No, I have a few close friends back where I used to live, but I haven't talked to them in ages and even if they did want to wreck my apartment, between the time period I left the apartment alone hey wouldn't have got here. The last time i talked to them we left in a really good note, so they wouldn't do that, and apart from that, no one."

The police officers looked at me as if I was hiding something even though i wasn't.

"Are you sure no one around here would, anyone ...close" at this point his eyes wonder to Phil and then towards the door of Dans room.

"No, I dont have any friends here, and I've only just made friends with these guys, I've been with Phil the whole time and even though Dan definitely wouldn't anyway, he doesn't know me well enough for him to have a motive, im sure i can think of no one".

I turn to Phil and he seemed a little bit angry at the police officers suggestions.

"Ok, thank you for your time, we will need to take hold of your apartment, we will contact the owner of the apartment block and take care of it all, but you cannot access any of it for any circumstances, anything still in pieces and that isn't evidence, we will give to you, we will let you know of any updates. Take care." The police officer got up putting on his hat and his co-worker doing the same will tucking his notepad and pencil into his pocket and they walked to the door while Phil rushed ahead and opened it for them.

"Thank you so much" Phil politely said, they waved with a smile and as soon as the door clicked when it closed, we let out a huge deep breath we held in.

"Wow that was tense, haha, Im really tired, do you want to go to sleep?" Phil questions me, now i think about it; I do feel like I should call it a night, it's been an eventful day.

"Yeah i could do with some sleep...Can i use your bathroom?" I ask.

"Yeah of course, just use the one in my room, I'll pick out some clothes for you to where and a duvet and pillow...Is the sofa ok?" Phil said this slightly awkwardly.

"Yeah that's fine" I said with a smile to know I dont feel awkward.

I went into his white bathroom and looked in the clear mirror and I didn't like the view. The under of my eyes were a horrible grey, my makeup had smudged a little and you could probably make a birds nest out of my hair.

I take out my hair and brush it thoroughly so it was easy to run through with a brush of Phil's laying on the sink, and i washed my make up off with water.

I open the door and I see some clothes laid out on the bed, some Muppet PJ bottoms and a black Muse top.

"I hope those are ok, they are probably a bit big but..."

"No, they are really nice, thanks, I really appreciate it" I walk up to Phil and pull him into a tight hug; he wraps his arms back around me and pulls me as close as he can.

"I'll be back in a minute" Phil says muffling into my shoulder as he walks out into the hallway closing the door behind him.

I get changed and look into the long mirror on the front of his wooden wardrobe. The t-shirt is a little baggy and the bottom of the bottoms are probably going to make me trip over, but I didn't care because it's like a permanent hug from Phil, they smelt of him, I prefer that smell over anything.

"I walk into the living room and Phil shoots around and starts giggling.

"Awww you look so cute" this makes me blush and as I walk towards him to playfully hit him on the shoulder, I trip over, but I expect the hard wooden floor hitting me and a few bruises at the end, but instead it's a warm embrace and the smell of Phil as he catches me.

"Careful" I hear as i look up directly as him leaning over me his eyes glassy and glistening.

I get up and he smoothly strokes the duvet out and plumps the white pillow.

"Your bed waits" Phil says in an old English accent.

"Thank you Phillip, kind regards" I say back doing the same making a snobby face. We both laugh and he holds up the duvet for me, I jump in and hes lay the duvet on me slowly, looking into my eyes the whole time, and I do the same.

"Good night cutie" Phil says cheekily winking at me, I know im now a deep shade of red.

"Dont let the bed bugs bite" I say playfully back.

***AUTHORS NOTE" Hey I hope you enjoy this chapter, sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, ages ago I accidently but 'i' into add dictionary so it doesnt change to 'I', so sometimes it wont say 'I'. I kind of rushed this one because I needed to get it done, but I will take more time with the next chapter. :D I hope you enjoy it! :D Once again comments appreciated, no hate but I dont mind constructive critisism. :D **


	7. New Experiences

After a full night of sleep, my eyes open and adjust to the light to the sound of...singing? I focus fully on the singing and realised its Phil, singing the song familiar to be, 'Good Morning Sunshine' by Alex Day. I smile as the lyrics are sung perfectly to me, by the perfect person. I sit up rubbing my eyes and sweeping my hair out of my face and turn my head to the right to see Phil kind of 'bobbing' to his singing while spreading jam on toast. He hasn't realised I'm up yet so without him knowing, I get up slowly and carefully watching my every step carefully and I sneak up behind him on tip toes, i get behind him, holding my breath with anticipation and when the moment was right, at the start of the chorus I bellowed out the lyrics and Phil jumped out of his skin, jumping back with a look of pure horror on his face with the jammy knife in my direction, while im in stitches laughing from poor unexpecting Phil's reaction.

"Yeah, because if i was an axe murderer i would definitely join in and do a little karaoke with you" I say cheekily still laughing, Phil didn't take this comment to heart, instead he starting laughing with me before he pulled me into a hug without me knowing, i let out a squeal and he picked me up and spun me around.

"You scared me to death, although your smile made me forgive you" Phil said biting his lip making me swoon a little, he was so adorable, but knowing he just wanted to be good friend is making my heart ache, how long could I keep up the 'friends card' ? Some might say that last comment was flirty; I see it as just being cheeky and friendly.

Phil finished spreading the jam and put the knife in the now empty dish washer before taking his plate of toast and handing me a slice.

"No, it's yours, I can make my own breakfast, thanks though" I say but Phil doesn't take no for an answer and literally shakes the toast in my face making me giggle.

"Take it! We need to go shopping, there's nothing left, unless you fancy mostly black bananas or malt loaf thats been here since December untouched" Phil says dead seriously while im in stitches again, malt loaf?! That is possibly one of the most unlikely things to ever find in their kitchen.

"Malt loaf? Why do you have malt loaf" I say through my laughter, Phil goes all sassy on me with his hand on his hip with a poker face on, although it didn't last for long because his poker face got washed off with laughter.

"Dan thought that we should get ahead of Christmas and start being a little more healthier, preparation for the new year, but as you can tell that didn't go well, you can tell that from the untouched malt loaf and the empty Malteser packets stacked up in the bin" Phil explains laughing, I find out something new and hilarious about them every day, they are unlike anyone I've ever met, but im definitely glad I did meet them.

"Well it's good to make the effort. I'll just wait till after shopping, I need to head into town anyways; do you want to come with me? Im going to try and find a job so we can go shopping then" I ask him.

"Yeah, that sounds good; we usually get our shopping online, since we have no car or anything to get our shopping back, how did you get yours to your apartment without a car?" Phil asks me with a confused look on his face.

"I never waited until all my cupboards were empty, i get just little bits a need during the week and carry the bags home, one or two each time, it's easy" I reply back, he gives an understanding 'oohh' and nods, we then just stand there awkwardly, before Phil kind of jumps as if hes remembered something important and turns to me clicking his fingers.

"Oh! I forgot to tell you, Carrie is coming over in an hour with some clothes you can have, so let's go to town afterwards, ok?" Phil says smiling.

I agree, although im now slightly nervous with meeting Carrie, I had seen her on YouTube before and she's so beautiful and kind and she seems like such a cool person to hang around with, I could do with some girl company so I hope she likes me.

"What do you want to do till then? I need to record a new video but...hang on; do you want to do a video with me? We could do a question and answer or something; I haven't done one of them in a while. "Phil says with excitement in his eyes and a huge smile on his face, how can anyone say no to that adorable face?

"Yeah sure" I say smiling back he giggles and runs off im presuming to get his camera equipment. I walk to the sofa then sit on it, and as soon as I do I start to get really nervous about what I agreed to, what if his fans dont like me and it makes things weird between us, that's the last thing i want, what if I get loads of hate off people. All these thoughts and more rummage through my head, making me think of different scenarios and situations that could happen, all of them bad. My hands start getting slightly sweaty and butterflies kick in.

"Alex, are you okay?" Phil says, I turn in shock not knowing he was there.

"Yeah Im fine...Just nervous" I say honestly, lying wouldn't help anything, so whats the point?

"You will be fine, it's not as scary with the light in your face as you think-"

"No, about that fans, they might hate me, that's the last thing I'd want" I said and he looked at me, smiled and shook his head.

"Whats not to like?!" Phil said flailing his arms in the air making me laugh and blush at the same time.

Phil sets up the camera equipment neatly with precision, then sat down next to me, and then shuffling closer to make sure hes in the frame, he smells so nice.

"Ready?" Phil asks me smiling with his phone on the twitter questions in one hand and other his hand on the record button. I nodded and he pressed the button and with that there was a small beep and a red light appeared.

***AUTHORS NOTE* Hey! I hope you like this chapter, its kind of a filler chapter since ive had bad writers block lately and ive been really ill. Once again im sorry if theres any bad spelling mistakes or anything. I needed to upload a chapter since I hant in ages so this had to do because I werent well :/ anyways yeah I hope you like it, bye! :D**

**Anna x**


	8. A new friend and a new dress

"Thanks again for your awesome and quirky twitter questions! Ill see you next week! Bye!" Phil says cheerfully looking into the camera lens, the video had gone well and I didn't get as nervous as I thought, it seemed kind of natural to me, like I had been doing YouTube videos for years. After Phil had finished his sentence I waved to the camera and said a hearty goodbye and Phil presses the button on the top of the camera and the red light flashed off.

"That went really well, you were amazing, are you sure you haven't done this before?!" Phil asks wrapping his arms tightly around me; I smiled at his kind words. While still in Phil's embrace, footsteps creaked in from the doorway.

"Awww so cute!" Dan cheekily exclaimed, me and Phil disembarked from our hug and Phil turned away as did I because I had blushed from what Dan said, another reason why I love Dan, his ability to make things awkward in seconds.

"How did it go?" Dan said after realising he made it awkward, Phil suddenly gleamed a smile and stood up walking towards him.

"It was great, Alex was great! When are you doing your video, I have finished with the camera equipment" Phil asked leaning on the breakfast counter facing Dan while I stood up and followed to then stand beside him.

"Well I've been really busy all week, and since I haven't dont one in a while, I thought I would do a day in the life of Dan" Dan replied flailing his arms around when he said 'day in the life of Dan', me and Phil giggled.

"When are you going to start filming?" I ask with curiosity.

"Haha! Who said I haven't already?" Dan said then taking a camera from off the counter and turning on the button and once again the red light flickered on.

Phil does a little dance, like a salsa-on-the-spot dance while I just start pulling funny faces at the camera, cross-eyed, scrunching my face up, sticking my tongue out, and just making other silly faces.

"Look what I have to put up with" Dan says laughing and we join in before he zooms into our faces. He then presses the on/off button off and puts it down on the kitchen counter.

"Carrie should be over in a few minutes right?" Dan says, I had completely forgotten, I quickly rushed out of the room and into Phil's bathroom shouting to Phil asking for permission. After getting his consent I went in and quickly brushed my teeth and brushed through my knotty hair and washed my face

I walked out of the bathroom and shuffled past Phil as he goes for his turn in there. I looked in the long mirror, I couldn't look any worse then I already did, red cheeks, grey under my eyes, spots in various places, great.

I frown at my reflection, why can't I look like someone like Jennifer Lawrence, she is beautiful and she's lucky to look how she does, im just me, im short, I haven't got a flat stomach, my arms are horrible, my- I feel some firm hands on my shoulders which stop my trail of thoughts, I look to see Phil behind me smiling.

"Aw, you look so cute in my clothes" Phil said quietly, I said my thanks with a fake smile because hes probably saying that so be nice, why would Phil say that about me?

We stand there for a minute or so before a few taps on the door brings us back to our senses, Phil walks out of the room towards the door and I follow, me and Dan go into the living room while Phil opens the door.

"Hey guys!" Carrie says walking in giving Phil a hug and walking into the living room giving Dan a hug before turning to me.

"You must be Alex! You are as beautiful as Phil described you" She says turning to Phil who is looking down smiling, this makes me smile, Carrie gives me a warm hug and-

*BANG, CLUNK* out greetings were interrupted my Dan in the doorway leading out of the apartment with 3 massive bin bags filled to the brim.

"Help?" Dan says out of breath with a giggle, when hearing this Phil hurries to his rescue and takes two of the bags.

"Oh, these are for you, there is some other things in there that I dont want, but it might be useful for you, but mostly clothes! Im really sorry about your situation, luckily you have these two to help you out" She says turning to them shuffling the bags along...well Phil shuffling three bags and a Dan.

"I want to help you as much as I can!" Carrie says with a kind smile.

"Thank you so much! I feel bad; you seriously didn't have to bring this much me..." I say out of shock, I feel so grateful to have such awesome people around me; Carrie lays a friendly hand on my shoulder and protests that it was no problem and that if I need help, I can give her a ring, and we exchanged numbers. We then helped Phil and Dan carry in the bags and while Dan and Phil were in the kitchen making a mess of making tea, we sat on the sofa and went through the bags, she has such beautiful clothes, floral shirts, knitted jumpers, an odd pair of sneakers, colourful skirts, all so wonderful but one piece stood out to me, a v line navy dress with a flowing skirt thats about knee length.

"Carrie, this is so beautiful, are you sure you want to give it away, dont feel that you need to!" I exclaimed, the last thing I want her to think is that she has to give away loved bits of clothing to seem kind.

"Oh that! Of course not, I've never worn it and probably never will, I got it as present ages ago, you have it! Im glad you like it, you might want to wear it soon" Carrie says although whispering at the phrase 'you might want to wear it soon' along with a cheeky wink, although I haven't got a CLUE what she's on about, I say thank you without questioning the weird gesture...hmmm..

5 hours go by although it only seems like one, we had such a good time, playing twister, watching movies and playing Mario kart, I dont know why I was so worried about meeting Carrie, she's like the opposite version of me, apart from she's beautiful and I look like a potato.

After a final game of Mario kart as the clock struck 5:00pm, we all stood up to give Carrie warm goodbyes since she had to get the train home.

When it came to my turn to give my goodbyes to her, we shared a tight hug but just before we separated she whispered in my ear

"This goes great with the dress" and slips a necklace into my bottoms pocket, and she once again winks...

We wave Carrie off while Dan takes her to the train station as he has to go to a supermarket just past it to get more milk while me and Phil tidy up the empty packets of haribos and the Wii remote controllers, oh and the laid out twister mat.

"Do you like her?" Phil suddenly says out of nowhere.

"She's great! I think we're going to meet up for a coffee someday next week."

"Good!" Phil says in a jolly tone and goes into the kitchen and puts the empty wrappers in the black bin in the corner.

"Hey Alex" Phil hesitated. I walked other slowly, my eyes on Phil the whole time.

"Yes?" I whispered, worried about what he was about to confront me about.

"Um..." Phil said nervously.

"Phil, you know you can talk to me about anything...right?" I'm really starting to worry.

"No, im not upset I just, look, I really like you, I know you probably dont like me to, nobody seems to, but I guess it's better I try then not at all right? Anyway, I was wondering if tomorrow you want to go to...um...dinner, I mean you dont have to if you dont want to" Phils words ring through my ears and my heart pounds faster and harder. Phil looks up from the metal kettle and looks me in the eyes with his beautiful glistening ones. A huge smile stretches across my face, who would have thought it, and when he said that nobody seems to like him, are they mad, who wouldn't, hes perfect. Instead of an instant reply I take him by surprise and wrap my arms around his neck and his arms wind around my waist and he pulls me close. I nestle my head in the crock of his neck and mumble barely audible 'yes', although by the beautiful silence and the sudden tighter hug, im sure he heard.

Things are finally going right.


	9. New realisations

I opened my eyes after having dreams as sweet as coffee to the sound of rain pattering on the glass windows. I propped myself up and stretched immediately looking to Phil to my right. After asking me out on a date last night, we decided to watch another movie, My Neighbour Totoro to be precise, and we went to his room so I could help him edit since I took ICT and graphics in school, and I must have fallen asleep, I just remember laying on his chest while he talks a lot about different things, but I didn't mind, I loved every word and I listened to every word he said.

After seeing he wasn't there I swung my legs out of bed and headed for the living room. I walked in and Dan and Phil were both on the sofa editing, Phil wearing his glasses, he looked so adorable.

"Morning!" I chirped. Their facial expressions didn't change because I didn't see the clear earphones in their ears, im such an idiot.

I went directly behind Phil and crouched behind the sofa, I leant my hand over and tapped his shoulder lightly and ducked back down. He looked over, and when he saw nothing, although slightly confused he turned back, and I done the same thing again, apart from this time when his head shot around I jumped up with an almighty.

"BOO!" Phil leapt up in fright his earphones flying everywhere with his hand on his heart exhaling deeply, while im standing there in fits of laughter.

"What a lovely greeting to get! You scared the life out of me, I should have known" Phil said crossing his arm and pouting like a child. I walked other and gave him a friendly hug.

"Sorry! I saw the chance and I took it" I said beneath my laughter.

"I noticed" He chuckled and we went into the kitchen and starting to make our morning tea.

"So I and Dan need to go out to this meeting for this YouTube thing, but I will pick you up at 7 for our date, if that's ok?" He kindly asked, my stomach had butterflies swarming in it at the words 'for our date'.

I nodded and he smiled, just as the kettle light went off indicated the water was boiled. We completed our tea and sat on the sofa and watched Jeremy Kyle as he told the story of when he and Dan were in the audience there, he always tells stories so well.

"So this girl was like 'YOU SLEPT WITH MY BEST FRIEND AND YOUR THE FATHER OF MY 2 YEAR OLD'" Phil exclaimed putting on a high pitched voice when he said the girls part, he does the voice well.

"And the guy stormed out and obviously Jeremy STORMED OUT IN RAGE after him, where as me and Dan sat there trying to be serious, and then'"

"PO-PO-PO-PO-POKER FACE, PO-PO-POKER FACE" Dan sings loudly as he dances in the room, me and Phil sit there clenching our lips together trying not to laugh so much. Dan looks away from the floor to us and his eyes widen and he stands there in shock.

"Did you-"

"I never knew you were such a Lady Gaga fan Dan" I sarcastically stated and after that I and Phil were both in pits of laughter.

"Haha very funny, it was on the radio a minute ago, I thought you were in Phil's room, all my dignity has flew out of the window, well if I had any left" Dan calmly replied with a giggle, although me and Phil couldn't breathe properly let alone talk. After me and Phil managed to contain ourselves we went into Phil's room and he sat on the bed propped up with his laptop on his bed while I went into the bathroom starting to brush my teeth.

"By the way, I uploaded the video this morning, actually it finished just as you jumped at me, let's look at the feedback, my fans always inspire me for new videos, and their comments really do make me smile" Phil proposed and I gave a loud 'IN A MINUTE' and after washing out my mouth, washing my face and putting my brushed hair into a neat ponytail I joined him on the bed leaning on my head on his shoulder because I couldn't properly see the screen otherwise.

We went on the video and started scrolling through the comments, I tried to seem interested and I was, but I knew I wouldn't be able to cope with the hate, yeah there will be good ones but the bad ones are always the ones that stand out.

"Look at the top comments!" Phil exclaimed in excitement, I was looking outside at the streets but my eyes flashed back to the screen and I started to read the first one with over 400 likes.

"I dont even care what anyone says I ship you guys, now a new ship name...PHALEX!" I smiled at the comment...hmm Phalex...

The next one down had 75 likes and said 'I actually love this video with a passion, please make another! 3". Awww, it was awesome spending time with Phil and those comments make me relax and give me the courage to want to look through more.

"Their so sweet, you have such nice fans" I whisper looking up at Phil, he looks down at me with his beautiful eyes and says a sweet 'I know right' and we continue to scroll down when one catches my eye.

"Phil wait" When Phil stopped when the comment was in the middle, Phil started fidgeting, I looked at him and his face was full of worry.

"I, I need to go to the toilet" and with that comment he was rushed off into the bathroom slamming the door, what was up with him? Was it something I said? Was it the comment? I grabbed the laptop and pulled it towards me to read the comment.

'Phil, Im so glad you have found Alex, whether you are going out or not, I think she will help you a lot, you have been through a lot, and all your friend and family and fans have been there for you, but there's something about her, I can sense it, like she has something that you have needed for a long time, and now you have it, you need her, she will be a good friend to you' my eyes are now filling with tears and one starts falling down my cheek, what has happened...

Before I can group my thoughts and try to make sense of the comment, the door opens and Phil walks back over onto the bed lays down, propping himself up, but he doesn't move nor blink, he just stares.

"Phil..." I whisper, my voice shaking from the crying, his head turns to me and his hand reached up and cups my cheek his thump swiping away the tear rolling down.

"You can trust me, I won't ever leave you" I once again whisper as he caresses my cheek, before getting up and going into the bathroom, this time not closing the door. I get up from the bed wiping my eyes because the view was blurry and I steadily walked into the bathroom, I turn the corner and before he is Phil without a shirt, his back pale and muscley, taking my breath away.

I stand there waiting for a response and as I look at his red puffy eyes in the reflection of the mirror, his eyes meet mine and he takes a deep sigh and turns around to face me and it all hits me, each side of his body are scars and so many of them staining his skin, this makes me cry more, why did he do this? He is so beautiful, with or without scars; he didn't need to put himself through any pain, no matter what happened.

I couldn't get my thoughts into words so instead I ran up to him and wrapped my arms around him and his arms wrapped around mine, I gripped him so hard, I wanted to give him all the love I could in that hug, he nestled his head into my neck and one of his tears landed on my shoulder.

"I, I-"whimpered but at those words he burst into tears, I didn't want him to think he has to tell me, as long as he is happy, im happy.

I let go and pull back and he looks at me in confusion, still looking at him, mine and his tears rolling down, I take his hands and interlock my fingers with his, our eyes are locked together. I step back and lead him back into the bedroom stepping backwards and him forward, in silence. When we reached the left of his bed, I let my finger slip out of his grasp and I turned towards the bed and threw the duvet back, I got into the bed laying my head on the pillow looking at Phil, I tapped the space beside me and he got in without a word. After getting in I throw the duvet over us and he got into a position so that we fitted in together there was no gap between us, Phil nestle his head in my neck sniffling also throwing his arms over me pulling me close. I rested my head on his and we breathed in rhythm to one another and I closed my eyes.

I woke up, my eyes sore and unlike the morning, there is no light, I look outside and see its just gotten dark and the alarm clock beside me says in bright red lights '5:00PM' I sit up and rub my eyes.

"Phil?" I groaned wanting to desperately see him. After getting no reply I stumble into the living room to see the lights off and no one in there, I flick the light on and something catches my eye, a piece of paper on the breakfast counter.

Filled with curiosity I head over and pick up the handwritten letter.

'Alex,

You probably want an answer, so here it is.

About 2 years ago, I got depression, it didn't slowly start and nothing particularly started it, but one morning I just woke up and felt worthless like everything im doing isn't worth anything and it's all a waste of time and im worthless for even bothering, things got worse from then onwards.

Over time I detiriated, I stopped talking, eating, making videos, getting out of bed, I didn't have the energy or charisma to do anything, I just didn't want to be alive, every time I went to sleep I didn't want to wake up because it was the same old everyday and im worthless anyway, nobody cares, I was just used to lean on.

I lost a lot of weight, and ended up in hospital and although my body was once again healthy with the nutrition and minerals I needed my mind was still a huge tangled mess. When I was released from hospital I had energy again, but I didn't use it productively like I could have, I started self harming, I knew people would see it on my wrists since it was summer and I wore t-shirts so I did it on my stomach on the sides, and it felt like it released pain, I liked the feeling, it made me feel better, and it became an addiction. Every evening almost there was another one, another wound that's going to scar me forever.

Then Dan came, I was walking down the street one day on the way home from getting some razor blades when I felt light headed and then everything went black. When I woke up as well as my doctor, another person stood, Dan. It turned out he brought me to the hospital after I passed out because my blood sugar levels went down too much.

Although I was just a stranger, Dan was loyal to me, he visited me many mornings and when I asked why he did, and to this day he just replies with 'Just because', and I still dont know why now. Anyway, we became brilliant friends, we had a lot in common and he would always listen to what I had to say, listen to me rant on about my feelings, he brought me up on the days I felt the worse, Dan saved me from ending my life because of a problem that is fixable, and it was fixed. I will always be grateful to Dan, because of him, I got over my depression, slowly but I did it and slowly after time I started videos again and I have the best fans in the world, all so supportive and still love me even though I had depression, but they never knew I self harmed.

When I met you Alex, just like the person who write that comment, I knew you were going to be good for me, Dan is an amazing friend, but I needed someone I could cuddle and give love to, and you are that person, when I first saw you with your beautiful blonde curls, I wanted to get to know you, and im so glad I did, and I will always be grateful to you letting me buying you that drink that day.

So there you have it, my journey from what I thought was infinite sadness to the boy that saved my life, and now you Alex.

Remember, 7:00pm, on the dot.

Phil.'

My tears splash on the paper making the ink run, I had no idea Phil went through this, when you see him now smiling, having fun you would never think about what he went through, and I will always be proud of him for getting through it and to Dan for saving him, because without Dan I would never have met Phil. Also knowing Phil thinks im going to be good for him, makes my heart melt, im me, plain old Alex, and he has trust and faith in me, I will never give up on him, I won't let him down, I won't let his words turn into lies.

'Remember 7:00pm, on the dot' I suddenly remember and I click a button on my phone on the counter next to the paper and the time flashed up brightly '5:05pm'. Ok, I whisper to myself and go into Phil's bathroom and look into the mirror, my cheeks are stained with water marks from my tears and my eyes are red, my eyelashes wet from tears.

I run myself a hot bath and after washing my hair and my body I blow dry my hair then straighten it pinning back my fringe. After being happy with how my hair looks I do my makeup, foundation, mascara, eye shadow, blush and lipstick with a little bit of a milk and honey lip balm. Now, the clothes.

I pick out a selection of blouses, skirts and dresses from Carries clothes until I come across the navy dress that day and Carries words cross my mind, 'you might want to wear it soon', did she know about Phil asking me out on a date...trying not to think about it too much I take it and slip it on and step in front of the mirror. It fits perfectly on my shoulders, on my waist and it's the perfect length, for once, I actually have confidence and security in what I look like.

"Oh!" I gasp remembering the pearl necklace Carrie also gave me, I take it from my bottoms pockets and clasp it around my neck and it lies on my chest shining.

I opened my eyes after having dreams as sweet as coffee to the sound of rain pattering on the glass windows. I propped myself up and stretched immediately looking to Phil to my right. After asking me out on a date last night, we decided to watch another movie, My Neighbour Totoro to be precise, and we went to his room so I could help him edit since I took ICT and graphics in school, and I must have fallen asleep, I just remember laying on his chest while he talks a lot about different things, but I didn't mind, I loved every word and I listened to every word he said.

After seeing he wasn't there I swung my legs out of bed and headed for the living room. I walked in and Dan and Phil were both on the sofa editing, Phil wearing his glasses, he looked so adorable.

"Morning!" I chirped. Their facial expressions didn't change because I didn't see the clear earphones in their ears, im such an idiot.

I went directly behind Phil and crouched behind the sofa, I leant my hand over and tapped his shoulder lightly and ducked back down. He looked over, and when he saw nothing, although slightly confused he turned back, and I done the same thing again, apart from this time when his head shot around I jumped up with an almighty.

"BOO!" Phil leapt up in fright his earphones flying everywhere with his hand on his heart exhaling deeply, while im standing there in fits of laughter.

"What a lovely greeting to get! You scared the life out of me, I should have known" Phil said crossing his arm and pouting like a child. I walked other and gave him a friendly hug.

"Sorry! I saw the chance and I took it" I said beneath my laughter.

"I noticed" He chuckled and we went into the kitchen and starting to make our morning tea.

"So I and Dan need to go out to this meeting for this YouTube thing, but I will pick you up at 7 for our date, if that's ok?" He kindly asked, my stomach had butterflies swarming in it at the words 'for our date'.

I nodded and he smiled, just as the kettle light went off indicated the water was boiled. We completed our tea and sat on the sofa and watched Jeremy Kyle as he told the story of when he and Dan were in the audience there, he always tells stories so well.

"So this girl was like 'YOU SLEPT WITH MY BEST FRIEND AND YOUR THE FATHER OF MY 2 YEAR OLD'" Phil exclaimed putting on a high pitched voice when he said the girls part, he does the voice well.

"And the guy stormed out and obviously Jeremy STORMED OUT IN RAGE after him, where as me and Dan sat there trying to be serious, and then'"

"PO-PO-PO-PO-POKER FACE, PO-PO-POKER FACE" Dan sings loudly as he dances in the room, me and Phil sit there clenching our lips together trying not to laugh so much. Dan looks away from the floor to us and his eyes widen and he stands there in shock.

"Did you-"

"I never knew you were such a Lady Gaga fan Dan" I sarcastically stated and after that I and Phil were both in pits of laughter.

"Haha very funny, it was on the radio a minute ago, I thought you were in Phil's room, all my dignity has flew out of the window, well if I had any left" Dan calmly replied with a giggle, although me and Phil couldn't breathe properly let alone talk. After me and Phil managed to contain ourselves we went into Phil's room and he sat on the bed propped up with his laptop on his bed while I went into the bathroom starting to brush my teeth.

"By the way, I uploaded the video this morning, actually it finished just as you jumped at me, let's look at the feedback, my fans always inspire me for new videos, and their comments really do make me smile" Phil proposed and I gave a loud 'IN A MINUTE' and after washing out my mouth, washing my face and putting my brushed hair into a neat ponytail I joined him on the bed leaning on my head on his shoulder because I couldn't properly see the screen otherwise.

We went on the video and started scrolling through the comments, I tried to seem interested and I was, but I knew I wouldn't be able to cope with the hate, yeah there will be good ones but the bad ones are always the ones that stand out.

"Look at the top comments!" Phil exclaimed in excitement, I was looking outside at the streets but my eyes flashed back to the screen and I started to read the first one with over 400 likes.

"I dont even care what anyone says I ship you guys, now a new ship name...PHALEX!" I smiled at the comment...hmm Phalex...

The next one down had 75 likes and said 'I actually love this video with a passion, please make another! 3". Awww, it was awesome spending time with Phil and those comments make me relax and give me the courage to want to look through more.

"Their so sweet, you have such nice fans" I whisper looking up at Phil, he looks down at me with his beautiful eyes and says a sweet 'I know right' and we continue to scroll down when one catches my eye.

"Phil wait" When Phil stopped when the comment was in the middle, Phil started fidgeting, I looked at him and his face was full of worry.

"I, I need to go to the toilet" and with that comment he was rushed off into the bathroom slamming the door, what was up with him? Was it something I said? Was it the comment? I grabbed the laptop and pulled it towards me to read the comment.

'Phil, Im so glad you have found Alex, whether you are going out or not, I think she will help you a lot, you have been through a lot, and all your friend and family and fans have been there for you, but there's something about her, I can sense it, like she has something that you have needed for a long time, and now you have it, you need her, she will be a good friend to you' my eyes are now filling with tears and one starts falling down my cheek, what has happened...

Before I can group my thoughts and try to make sense of the comment, the door opens and Phil walks back over onto the bed lays down, propping himself up, but he doesn't move nor blink, he just stares.

"Phil..." I whisper, my voice shaking from the crying, his head turns to me and his hand reached up and cups my cheek his thump swiping away the tear rolling down.

"You can trust me, I won't ever leave you" I once again whisper as he caresses my cheek, before getting up and going into the bathroom, this time not closing the door. I get up from the bed wiping my eyes because the view was blurry and I steadily walked into the bathroom, I turn the corner and before he is Phil without a shirt, his back pale and muscley, taking my breath away.

I stand there waiting for a response and as I look at his red puffy eyes in the reflection of the mirror, his eyes meet mine and he takes a deep sigh and turns around to face me and it all hits me, each side of his body are scars and so many of them staining his skin, this makes me cry more, why did he do this? He is so beautiful, with or without scars; he didn't need to put himself through any pain, no matter what happened.

I couldn't get my thoughts into words so instead I ran up to him and wrapped my arms around him and his arms wrapped around mine, I gripped him so hard, I wanted to give him all the love I could in that hug, he nestled his head into my neck and one of his tears landed on my shoulder.

"I, I-"whimpered but at those words he burst into tears, I didn't want him to think he has to tell me, as long as he is happy, im happy.

I let go and pull back and he looks at me in confusion, still looking at him, mine and his tears rolling down, I take his hands and interlock my fingers with his, our eyes are locked together. I step back and lead him back into the bedroom stepping backwards and him forward, in silence. When we reached the left of his bed, I let my finger slip out of his grasp and I turned towards the bed and threw the duvet back, I got into the bed laying my head on the pillow looking at Phil, I tapped the space beside me and he got in without a word. After getting in I throw the duvet over us and he got into a position so that we fitted in together there was no gap between us, Phil nestle his head in my neck sniffling also throwing his arms over me pulling me close. I rested my head on his and we breathed in rhythm to one another and I closed my eyes.

I woke up, my eyes sore and unlike the morning, there is no light, I look outside and see its just gotten dark and the alarm clock beside me says in bright red lights '5:00PM' I sit up and rub my eyes.

"Phil?" I groaned wanting to desperately see him. After getting no reply I stumble into the living room to see the lights off and no one in there, I flick the light on and something catches my eye, a piece of paper on the breakfast counter.

Filled with curiosity I head over and pick up the handwritten letter.

'Alex,

You probably want an answer, so here it is.

About 2 years ago, I got depression, it didn't slowly start and nothing particularly started it, but one morning I just woke up and felt worthless like everything im doing isn't worth anything and it's all a waste of time and im worthless for even bothering, things got worse from then onwards.

Over time I detiriated, I stopped talking, eating, making videos, getting out of bed, I didn't have the energy or charisma to do anything, I just didn't want to be alive, every time I went to sleep I didn't want to wake up because it was the same old everyday and im worthless anyway, nobody cares, I was just used to lean on.

I lost a lot of weight, and ended up in hospital and although my body was once again healthy with the nutrition and minerals I needed my mind was still a huge tangled mess. When I was released from hospital I had energy again, but I didn't use it productively like I could have, I started self harming, I knew people would see it on my wrists since it was summer and I wore t-shirts so I did it on my stomach on the sides, and it felt like it released pain, I liked the feeling, it made me feel better, and it became an addiction. Every evening almost there was another one, another wound that's going to scar me forever.

Then Dan came, I was walking down the street one day on the way home from getting some razor blades when I felt light headed and then everything went black. When I woke up as well as my doctor, another person stood, Dan. It turned out he brought me to the hospital after I passed out because my blood sugar levels went down too much.

Although I was just a stranger, Dan was loyal to me, he visited me many mornings and when I asked why he did, and to this day he just replies with 'Just because', and I still dont know why now. Anyway, we became brilliant friends, we had a lot in common and he would always listen to what I had to say, listen to me rant on about my feelings, he brought me up on the days I felt the worse, Dan saved me from ending my life because of a problem that is fixable, and it was fixed. I will always be grateful to Dan, because of him, I got over my depression, slowly but I did it and slowly after time I started videos again and I have the best fans in the world, all so supportive and still love me even though I had depression, but they never knew I self harmed.

When I met you Alex, just like the person who write that comment, I knew you were going to be good for me, Dan is an amazing friend, but I needed someone I could cuddle and give love to, and you are that person, when I first saw you with your beautiful blonde curls, I wanted to get to know you, and im so glad I did, and I will always be grateful to you letting me buying you that drink that day.

So there you have it, my journey from what I thought was infinite sadness to the boy that saved my life, and now you Alex.

Remember, 7:00pm, on the dot.

Phil.'

My tears splash on the paper making the ink run, I had no idea Phil went through this, when you see him now smiling, having fun you would never think about what he went through, and I will always be proud of him for getting through it and to Dan for saving him, because without Dan I would never have met Phil. Also knowing Phil thinks im going to be good for him, makes my heart melt, im me, plain old Alex, and he has trust and faith in me, I will never give up on him, I won't let him down, I won't let his words turn into lies.

'Remember 7:00pm, on the dot' I suddenly remember and I click a button on my phone on the counter next to the paper and the time flashed up brightly '5:05pm'. Ok, I whisper to myself and go into Phil's bathroom and look into the mirror, my cheeks are stained with water marks from my tears and my eyes are red, my eyelashes wet from tears.

I run myself a hot bath and after washing my hair and my body I blow dry my hair then straighten it pinning back my fringe. After being happy with how my hair looks I do my makeup, foundation, mascara, eye shadow, blush and lipstick with a little bit of a milk and honey lip balm. Now, the clothes.

I pick out a selection of blouses, skirts and dresses from Carries clothes until I come across the navy dress that day and Carries words cross my mind, 'you might want to wear it soon', did she know about Phil asking me out on a date...trying not to think about it too much I take it and slip it on and step in front of the mirror. It fits perfectly on my shoulders, on my waist and it's the perfect length, for once, I actually have confidence and security in what I look like.

"Oh!" I gasp remembering the pearl necklace Carrie also gave me, I take it from my bottoms pockets and clasp it around my neck and it lies on my chest shining.


	10. First Date

I walked towards the door, breathing deeply. Standing in front of the door, I take a deep breath in and grab the door knob, turning it slowly before I hear the latch open, and I open the door. Before me is not the person I imagined in my head reading the note, he was him. Phil stood before me, in a black suit which fitted him perfectly; there was no button or cuff out place. His hair laid neatly on his head, his fringe shifted to one side, and he had a half smile on his face, as beautiful as ever with his eyes glassy and gleaming.

"Hi" Phil says looking me up and down, his half smile going wider.

"Hey" I say back with a chuckle, not taking my eyes of his, he then offers his arm to me and without a second thought I take it, keeping close to him as we stroll down the corridor towards the lift doors that for some reason where already open.

After going in the elevator and going down and outside there was a black taxi waiting with the engine on and the door open, we walked to the door and after getting in the taxi drove off, Phil must have told him where we were going so it was a suprise for me. As we stopped in the traffic I turn to phil to see him already looking at me, I smiled and he grabbed my hand and laced his fingers between mine and held my hand tight.

As the taxi slowed down I looked around outside to see we were in the heart of London outside a restaurant that looked expensive with the gold coloured framing around the windows and the roses hanging in pots from a ledge at the top from a hook, my mouth fell open, and Phil just laughed when he opened the door on his side and then came around and opened mine holding his hand out, with no hesitation I take it and he leads me to the big double glass doors with door knobs that have fancy patterns carved in them. A waiter inside sees us approaching and comes over and hold the door open greeting us.

"Welcome, do you have a reservation" the waiter asks looking back and forth from me to Phil.

"Yes, on the name of Lester, a reservation for two" Phil revealed and the waiter just nodded and led us to a table at the back, a small brown table with brown chairs with red cushions, and on the table was a candle since the restaurant was quite dim, and a champagne bottle

We finish eating our desert (that was amazing) and paying, which Phil refused to let me contribute for, it was extremely expensive but no matter what I said Phil would not let me. Phil comes back after paying at the front which was weird for some reason since I thought in most restaurants you get a bill, but oh well. Phil comes back and we head off, hand and hand.

"Do you want to go for a walk, there's a park just down here" Phil asks as we walk towards the park which I can just make out at the bottom of the high street.

"Yeah" I smile and so does Phil and we head off, in silence, but it was a nice silence, we were non stop talking in the restaurant, laughing and smiling but its suddenly stopped, not that I minded, the sounds of the cars and the people filled our ears.

When we reached the park the sounds of the city became more distant and we reached a tree right in the heart of the park, and it was my favourite of them all, although it was quite dark, I could make it out, it was tall and thin with many thin branches sprouting out but thats not what I liked about it, it was its flowers which were fully bloomed but they were a pale pink colour, like the colour your cheeks are after being in the cold for a bit, and the middle of the flower it was a darker shade, it was a beautiful tree. I gasp and run towards the tree dragging Phil with me who was totally unaware of what was happening which made me laugh, as we approached the tree I stood in front of it taking in the beauty of it as the moonlight hit the petals making them stand out more. Phil stands close to me and wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me tighter and I lay my head on his shoulder, and its in that moment looking at the tree that I realise I think im in love with Phil, everything about him, his kindness, his beautiful eyes, his hair and how soft it looks, how caring he is towards others, how soft he is with everything he did and how real he is, and thats the best thing. Its him that I finally realise is the person ive been looking for all this time and you know what, im glad I got burgled because otherwise I might not have got so close to him, and I wouldn't have found out his past, which for me is what makes him, him.

"You look beautiful tonight, and anytime infact" Phil suddenly says breaking the silence, and butterflies rise in my stomach as he takes his arm from behind me and turns so hes in front of me grabbing both of my hands and I cant help but fall for him even more, if that was even possible, his eyes that glistening and his smile that is adorable and beautiful in every way and just everything, even his nose. I just smile, and Phil leans, his face inches from mine before his soft lips touch mine and his arms slip to my waist and mine around his neck, its perfect.

***AUTHORS NOTE* sorry this is a bit rushed, ive been really bust lately:S but i still hope you like it:3**


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